i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize