just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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