only you would photoshop your dick
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
