I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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