note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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