so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I love having hate sex.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
