Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
