I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
