O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
