god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
