The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
