just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
