He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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