Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
