His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
