Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
