i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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