Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
