and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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