you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
