Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
