I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
