what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
