that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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