I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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