It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
