Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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