Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
