Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I see more hoeing in ur future
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
