Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
