it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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