forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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