is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
