i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
