How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
