My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
