Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
