i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize