Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
