He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
