in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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