Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
