WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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