You're so nebulous sometimes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
