did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
please don't ironically join a cult
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