I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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