She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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