How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize