what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
