Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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