Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
