Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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