i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
