He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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