You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
