I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
