what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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