Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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