I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
