Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
