He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
